if you already had a xdm 40 why not go to the sub .40? i have one and carry it everywhere.. bigger then most but its not so small that i have to worry about someone thinking its a toy and its not so big that I have problems pulling it..
but i know danny you have small hands.. and maybe you should stick to a .22 ruger or something like that.. I know bass pro has a pink .380... cheap... almost bought it for the wife... should fit your hands like a glove... LOL </LMAO/>