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Author Topic: Craigslist/Good Deal Thread  (Read 213737 times)

Offline DOUG

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Re: Craigslist/Good Deal Thread
« Reply #2664 on: June 29, 2016, 09:01:45 AM »
LMAO, great ad

My cousins says his 900hp viper tried to kill him, this one must be fast....

http://providence.craigslist.org/cto/5607257677.html

There is more, open it

That's why I'm telling you. I will not have your soul on my conscience.
You need to know what you are getting into. What insane level of crazy you are buying.
Can you resist the urge to mash down the accelerator? Can you? Because it's like owning your own demon. A demon that wants to kill you. We all know one person that for the right amount of money would kill you. But since no one is paying, they smile in your face and go about their day.
It's like that except the Viper doesn't bother to ever pretend it doesn't want to kill you.
And it will do it for free.


Offline jd30005

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Re: Craigslist/Good Deal Thread
« Reply #2665 on: June 29, 2016, 09:17:43 AM »
LMAO, great ad

My cousins says his 900hp viper tried to kill him, this one must be fast....

http://providence.craigslist.org/cto/5607257677.html

There is more, open it

That's why I'm telling you. I will not have your soul on my conscience.
You need to know what you are getting into. What insane level of crazy you are buying.
Can you resist the urge to mash down the accelerator? Can you? Because it's like owning your own demon. A demon that wants to kill you. We all know one person that for the right amount of money would kill you. But since no one is paying, they smile in your face and go about their day.
It's like that except the Viper doesn't bother to ever pretend it doesn't want to kill you.
And it will do it for free.


Hysterical, thanks for sharing...
John
Tube chassis/buggy

Offline jc79

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Re: Craigslist/Good Deal Thread
« Reply #2666 on: June 29, 2016, 09:54:13 AM »
Yeah, best Craigslist or car ad I've ever read!


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Jared

2004 TJ Unlimited (LJ)

Offline Big Dave

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Re: Craigslist/Good Deal Thread
« Reply #2667 on: June 29, 2016, 11:10:33 AM »
Great ad. My Favorite line "Different bowl of crack".

Offline jc79

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Re: Craigslist/Good Deal Thread
« Reply #2668 on: June 29, 2016, 11:22:00 AM »
I'm actually pasting the whole thing here so I can come back and read it after the ad's taken down.

2001 dodge viper convertible

VIN: 1B3er65e91v701449
cylinders: 10 cylinders
drive: rwd
fuel: gas
odometer: 11400
paint color: black
title status: rebuilt
transmission: manual
type: convertible

Okay. Full disclosure. I almost killed myself in it.
It is VERY powerful. Extremely, EXTREMELY fast.
I've driven Ferrari's that don't feel as crazy as this thing. I am frankly afraid of it now.
That's right. It's in my garage and I'm afraid to drive it because it's like a crazy steroid bull that wants to kill me.
I've done 130 mph on a Ducati while laughing into the face of death. The viper is a completely different bowl of crack. The engine sounds like 40 pit bulls eating kittens while lifting weights.
I cannot truly explain it's power. It has whiplash acceleration in 3rd gear at 50mph. That sentence doesn't even make sense. But it's true.
That's why I'm telling you. I will not have your soul on my conscience.
You need to know what you are getting into. What insane level of crazy you are buying.
Can you resist the urge to mash down the accelerator? Can you? Because it's like owning your own demon. A demon that wants to kill you. We all know one person that for the right amount of money would kill you. But since no one is paying, they smile in your face and go about their day.
It's like that except the Viper doesn't bother to ever pretend it doesn't want to kill you.
And it will do it for free.

Some brilliant engineer designed a beautiful sexy bulging body, fantastic suspension, great handling, aerodynamics, and all American style. While he was out on his lunch break, some demented maniac dropped 100 times more engine power than necessary into it and sent it out the door. It's mentally unbalanced.

Look,
If you are the type of person that can be talked into having one more drink at midnight when you have a very important presentation or interview early the next morning, then the Viper is not for you.

The whole car is constantly whispering sweet lies to you.
"You got this".
"Open me up and ride free, you got this"
"What are you a pussy?"
"Just do it", "Do it", "you got this".

Do not do it. You don't got it. You ARE in fact a pussy. And as we all know, pussy is mad good. But not that good.
You will sit on the curb and settle your heart after it tries to kill you the first time.
You will get back inside and it will immediately get back to the business of trying to get you to let it murder you.
"You got this. This time you know. That last time was just a fluke. You ain't no pussy".

Repeat after me.
You
Don't
Got
This.

But for $30k you can look the devil in the eye and take this ride.

You were warned.


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Jared

2004 TJ Unlimited (LJ)

Offline clark123456

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Re: Craigslist/Good Deal Thread
« Reply #2669 on: June 29, 2016, 12:25:35 PM »
Good move JC...they are pulling the ad.
Clark
1998 TJ Sahara

Offline Jango

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Re: Craigslist/Good Deal Thread
« Reply #2670 on: June 29, 2016, 05:04:02 PM »
LMAO, great ad

My cousins says his 900hp viper tried to kill him, this one must be fast....

http://providence.craigslist.org/cto/5607257677.html

There is more, open it

That's why I'm telling you. I will not have your soul on my conscience.
You need to know what you are getting into. What insane level of crazy you are buying.
Can you resist the urge to mash down the accelerator? Can you? Because it's like owning your own demon. A demon that wants to kill you. We all know one person that for the right amount of money would kill you. But since no one is paying, they smile in your face and go about their day.
It's like that except the Viper doesn't bother to ever pretend it doesn't want to kill you.
And it will do it for free.



I drove the same model Viper all last week and can attest that it is one heck of a beast. I hit 60mph in 2nd and still had 4 more gears to go...
-Connor (Jango... the D is silent and invisible)

Offline clark123456

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Re: Craigslist/Good Deal Thread
« Reply #2671 on: June 29, 2016, 05:12:21 PM »
I sent the ad to Kell so she could laugh.  She sent me an email that stated, "No."
Clark
1998 TJ Sahara

Offline Raisinhead

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Re: Craigslist/Good Deal Thread
« Reply #2672 on: June 30, 2016, 11:27:29 AM »
I sent the ad to Kell so she could laugh.  She sent me an email that stated, "No."


Did you buy it just to put her in her place?


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Jay

Offline clark123456

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Re: Craigslist/Good Deal Thread
« Reply #2673 on: June 30, 2016, 12:08:32 PM »
I sent the ad to Kell so she could laugh.  She sent me an email that stated, "No."


Did you buy it just to put her in her place?


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I really don't want a rebuilt title on a demon controlled vehicle.

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Clark
1998 TJ Sahara

Offline Danny Kinder

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Re: Craigslist/Good Deal Thread
« Reply #2674 on: June 30, 2016, 01:08:59 PM »
That sh't is funny!
Danny Kinder
HEISENBERG BUILD

Offline jc79

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Re: Craigslist/Good Deal Thread
« Reply #2675 on: July 05, 2016, 10:03:48 AM »

GATR West clubhouse? @jc79
https://denver.craigslist.org/off/5618640929.html

CORE fees are going up fellas!  That's awesome and seems like a decent price too.


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Jared

2004 TJ Unlimited (LJ)

 



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