Economic Stimulus

[Matt]

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic
Stimulus' payment.

   

    This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by
using a Q & A format:
   
   
    Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment?
   
    A.  It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
   
   
    Q. Where will the government get this money ?
   
    A. From taxpayers.
   
   
    Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
   
    A. Only a smidgen of it.
   
   
    Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
   
    A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
   
   
    Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
   
    A. Shut up.
   
   
  Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:       
   
   
           
   
* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will
go to China or Sri Lanka .
   
   
 * If you spend it on gasoline,  your money will go to the
Arabs.
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan or
China.
   
       
  * If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico,
Honduras and Guatemala..
   
       
   
     * If you buy an efficient  car, it will go to Japan or Korea.

   
     
   * If  you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.
   
     
   
 * If you pay your credit cards off or buy stock, it will go
to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
   
   
   Instead,  keep the money in America by:
   
 1) Spending it at yard sales     
   
    2)  Going to ball games or   
   
  3)  Spending it on prostitutes,  or     
   
   4)  Beer or     
   
 5) Tattoos.
   
   
  (These are the only American businesses still operating in the US)



   Conclusion:
   
    Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard
sale and drink beer all day!

   
    No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

[Brad]

that was funny and informing matt

[rabunjeeper]

Thats funny right there, I don't care who ya are!  ;D

[CopperCrawler]

LOL

[wideload]

Matt for president! {toast}

[FishWagon]

hahaha, that's funny... (and sad since it's true)

[xjfever]

I agree with most of that, except a good share of the stimulus money will go to non-taxpayers. Those the government deems as the working class that make low income and reap high tax returns. And those with a house full of illigitimate kids That get about what I pay in to the government back in tax returns. It was funny though, and if I get any it will be spent on american made jeep parts.

[mdo817]

The last one I took to Mexico and paid for a Vacation, I figured that if I took it down there and spent it there, that it would keep a few folks in Mexico employed, and maybe they would stay there. I'll do it again if I get one. {toast}