Dearest Most Sympathetic Boss-Man,
I have recently found that much to my dismay, that I am suffering from a rare form of flu.
As you know, I am usually at the Top of the World, but lately have been feeling more and more like Hell's Revenge.....so I went to visit my doctor last week (Dr. Cliff Hanger).
He performed the very painful Golden Spike & Metal Masher tests on my Fins & Things, and lab results have indeed confirmed that I have the dreaded Moabitus.
It is unbearable at times, as I feel as if I have ingested some bad Potato Salad and been bitten by a Poison Spider.
I am also experiencing some problems with my Secret Spire and my Hidden Canyon....but I will spare you the details.
The doctor has also recommended that I stay secluded from others, so I will be laid up for the duration on my Rainbow Terrace from Behind the Rocks.
He has also put me on a strict diet of Onion Creek soup and Chicken Corners sandwiches.
I expect to feel much better, and be returning to work by April 25th.
Thanks for your attention,
X ____________________