Have you ever felt bad about telling somebody no, especially a family member.
So my father in law came over to talk to me and his daughter about the resturant. It was a discussion about us taking it over or not. If we had chosen to take it over, it would have cost us $xxx,xxx dollars. I felt so so bad about saying no. I felt like it was a let down, complete. On the up side there is a buyer that he would get more money from and not have to do the updates. He was going to pay for the grandfather updates. If he sells it to them he's not doing the updates. He comes out ahead but it doesn't stay in the family.
I currently own 2 business now and there are good and bad business deals, family or not. I just wish he would have put more money back into the business along the way as it would be in a better position in my eyes today. I would get it $0.50 on the dollar of its true land, building, and business value. My wife is a certified commercial real estate appraiser for SunTrust and her job is to review million dollar plus evaluations on loans so I know the true value from a bank stand point.
He benefits from a non family sell as this is his retirement, but man, his other two sons don't want it. Dang, sucks. Chalk it up to one of those things.
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I get your position, and it sounds like you made the right decision. You have the added shit position of your marriage in the mix. I do find the "in the family" thing to be a silly reason, but I'm not trying to pass along one of my most important accomplishments.
I try to stick with a general rule: Don't do business with friends or family. Period.
That rule nearly cost me a friend, and I'm sure it did permanent damage to the friendship, but I had to tell a bud that I wouldn't use him as my financial investor when he was starting out as one.
That rule, purely by fortune, also saved me from taking a job that would have disappeared within a couple of years and kept be from the awesome job I have now. At the time it was tough to tell a friend I couldn't work for his company and support their goals.
I didn't follow that rule when I bought my second home and I was loaned money from my mom. She nagged me one time about the house and how, "you wouldn't have this house without me". While not accurate, since I'd just have had PMI added to the loan, I had to explain that if I had known she'd do that I'd never have accepted the money. I paid it back immediately after the first house sold. Things were tough for a bit, but now I hardly think about...hardly.
If I "loan" money to a friend or family member, I actually go ahead and accept I'll never see that money again; If I can't accept that, then I don't loan the money. If I get it back, great, but if I don't, I can still get along with that person without it pissing me off that they haven't paid me back. It works for me, YMMV.
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