Morning Coffee

[BigMike]

Have you ever felt bad about telling somebody no, especially a family member.

So my father in law came over to talk to me and his daughter about the resturant. It was a discussion about us taking it over or not. If we had chosen to take it over, it would have cost us $xxx,xxx dollars. I felt so so bad about saying no. I felt like it was a let down, complete. On the up side there is a buyer that he would get more money from and not have to do the updates. He was going to pay for the grandfather updates. If he sells it to them he's not doing the updates. He comes out ahead but it doesn't stay in the family.

I currently own 2 business now and there are good and bad business deals, family or not. I just wish he would have put more money back into the business along the way as it would be in a better position in my eyes today. I would get it $0.50 on the dollar of its true land, building, and business value. My wife is a certified commercial real estate appraiser for SunTrust and her job is to review million dollar plus evaluations on loans so I know the true value from a bank stand point.

He benefits from a non family sell as this is his retirement, but man, his other two sons don't want it. Dang, sucks. Chalk it up to one of those things.

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If I "loan" money to a friend or family member, I actually go ahead and accept I'll never see that money again; If I can't accept that, then I don't loan the money.  If I get it back, great, but if I don't, I can still get along with that person without it pissing me off that they haven't paid me back.  It works for me, YMMV.



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I've come to adopt this philosophy over the years and it has saved a couple friendships( and the relationship with my sister). It's not a loan, it's a helping hand up, and if you get the money back then you can bless the next person that comes along in need.


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Yep, same here.  My wife and I bailed out my cousin twice.  The first time we were repaid.  The second time we loaned them $2k and then all of a sudden we didn't hear from them as much and it became awkward.  It was my family and my wife called her one day and told her not to worry about the $2k and consider it a gift. 

[Anvilsam]

Well you can kiss your money goodbye with kids and grandkids
it's worse when their grown and "on their own". Here daughter
you need a little extra money......guilty as charged    LOL

My brothers son is like that to the point of not taking care of his own responsibilities because he knows his dad will handle it for him.


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[clark123456]

Have you ever felt bad about telling somebody no, especially a family member.

So my father in law came over to talk to me and his daughter about the resturant. It was a discussion about us taking it over or not. If we had chosen to take it over, it would have cost us $xxx,xxx dollars. I felt so so bad about saying no. I felt like it was a let down, complete. On the up side there is a buyer that he would get more money from and not have to do the updates. He was going to pay for the grandfather updates. If he sells it to them he's not doing the updates. He comes out ahead but it doesn't stay in the family.

I currently own 2 business now and there are good and bad business deals, family or not. I just wish he would have put more money back into the business along the way as it would be in a better position in my eyes today. I would get it $0.50 on the dollar of its true land, building, and business value. My wife is a certified commercial real estate appraiser for SunTrust and her job is to review million dollar plus evaluations on loans so I know the true value from a bank stand point.

He benefits from a non family sell as this is his retirement, but man, his other two sons don't want it. Dang, sucks. Chalk it up to one of those things.

Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk

If I "loan" money to a friend or family member, I actually go ahead and accept I'll never see that money again; If I can't accept that, then I don't loan the money.  If I get it back, great, but if I don't, I can still get along with that person without it pissing me off that they haven't paid me back.  It works for me, YMMV.



Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

I've come to adopt this philosophy over the years and it has saved a couple friendships( and the relationship with my sister). It's not a loan, it's a helping hand up, and if you get the money back then you can bless the next person that comes along in need.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yep, same here.  My wife and I bailed out my cousin twice.  The first time we were repaid.  The second time we loaned them $2k and then all of a sudden we didn't hear from them as much and it became awkward.  It was my family and my wife called her one day and told her not to worry about the $2k and consider it a gift.

Did that fix things with the awkwardness?

Hey, can I borrow a coupe of grand?

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[BigMike]

Have you ever felt bad about telling somebody no, especially a family member.

So my father in law came over to talk to me and his daughter about the resturant. It was a discussion about us taking it over or not. If we had chosen to take it over, it would have cost us $xxx,xxx dollars. I felt so so bad about saying no. I felt like it was a let down, complete. On the up side there is a buyer that he would get more money from and not have to do the updates. He was going to pay for the grandfather updates. If he sells it to them he's not doing the updates. He comes out ahead but it doesn't stay in the family.

I currently own 2 business now and there are good and bad business deals, family or not. I just wish he would have put more money back into the business along the way as it would be in a better position in my eyes today. I would get it $0.50 on the dollar of its true land, building, and business value. My wife is a certified commercial real estate appraiser for SunTrust and her job is to review million dollar plus evaluations on loans so I know the true value from a bank stand point.

He benefits from a non family sell as this is his retirement, but man, his other two sons don't want it. Dang, sucks. Chalk it up to one of those things.

Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk

If I "loan" money to a friend or family member, I actually go ahead and accept I'll never see that money again; If I can't accept that, then I don't loan the money.  If I get it back, great, but if I don't, I can still get along with that person without it pissing me off that they haven't paid me back.  It works for me, YMMV.



Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

I've come to adopt this philosophy over the years and it has saved a couple friendships( and the relationship with my sister). It's not a loan, it's a helping hand up, and if you get the money back then you can bless the next person that comes along in need.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yep, same here.  My wife and I bailed out my cousin twice.  The first time we were repaid.  The second time we loaned them $2k and then all of a sudden we didn't hear from them as much and it became awkward.  It was my family and my wife called her one day and told her not to worry about the $2k and consider it a gift.

Did that fix things with the awkwardness?

Hey, can I borrow a coupe of grand?

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

Yes, we're all good now.  They moved back to MD and both got great jobs.  I found out recently that their downfall was due to my cousin's husband getting a DUI and losing his job because he couldn't drive.  He works in construction. 

Let me know how much you need.    Just leave me the title to your Jeep (only so we can remain friends LOL).

[Mortalis5509]

I do like resturants and running them and wasn't doing it to keep it in the family. I worked there because I do enjoy it, but not all the numbers worked in its favor.

Now if I could have a resturant near the new hospital in braselton, that would be a gold mine by me. It's the area its at now that has me concerned a lot. Where I live now was similar to the area when he opened it 33 years ago. I could turn some serious net profit in my area, especially if i included delivery.

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[Blue J]

I do like resturants and running them and wasn't doing it to keep it in the family. I worked there because I do enjoy it, but not all the numbers worked in its favor.

Now if I could have a resturant near the new hospital in braselton, that would be a gold mine by me. It's the area its at now that has me concerned a lot. Where I live now was similar to the area when he opened it 33 years ago. I could turn some serious net profit in my area, especially if i included delivery.

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If you really enjoy it and think its viable in another location. Put your business plan together get a loan for another location and do it.

[Mortalis5509]

I do like resturants and running them and wasn't doing it to keep it in the family. I worked there because I do enjoy it, but not all the numbers worked in its favor.

Now if I could have a resturant near the new hospital in braselton, that would be a gold mine by me. It's the area its at now that has me concerned a lot. Where I live now was similar to the area when he opened it 33 years ago. I could turn some serious net profit in my area, especially if i included delivery.

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If you really enjoy it and think its viable in another location. Put your business plan together get a loan for another location and do it.

As of this second there isn't a place open to put it into a shopping type area yet. Free standing would be $1 million build out easy. The best I can get away would be 10% down at the tune of 100k. I would rather keep my ultra 4 car. In a strip mall type setting would be $200k or so would be my guess.

It will stay on the back burner for now. I'm only 33 so I have time still.

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[tjsahara00]

Well you can kiss your money goodbye with kids and grandkids
it's worse when their grown and "on their own". Here daughter
you need a little extra money......guilty as charged    LOL

My brothers son is like that to the point of not taking care of his own responsibilities because he knows his dad will handle it for him.


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Yes I know the kind Sam....
To clarify my statement was out of love and respect!
I've got a niece that I raised that will never see another
penny from me till she straightens up. My daughter bust
her ass working and raising kids. Never ask for anything.
I help her every chance I get.

[Anvilsam]

Well you can kiss your money goodbye with kids and grandkids
it's worse when their grown and "on their own". Here daughter
you need a little extra money......guilty as charged    LOL

My brothers son is like that to the point of not taking care of his own responsibilities because he knows his dad will handle it for him.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yes I know the kind Sam....
To clarify my statement was out of love and respect!
I've got a niece that I raised that will never see another
penny from me till she straightens up. My daughter bust
her ass working and raising kids. Never ask for anything.
I help her every chance I get.

I was not meaning in any way your daughter is that way. My nephew is 33. 3 kids that he doesn't see or take care of in any way. He is 100 percent the product of his environment though. Daniel (my brother) was the same way until he finally went to jail for a couple of years. He got out in 2004 and has been clean ever since then. He worked for my brother in law building houses until 2010 and has worked for me ever since. He feels guilty for not being there for his son for all those years and now has a grown man who wont take care of himself.

[tjsahara00]

I know you didn't but it made think about how it read.
I think we all have stories like this some where in our
family's. The hard but necessary part is drawing the line
for those type. It is amazing how they will find some way
to carry on. My wife and I refuse to be enablers to anyone
even family. Did it for to long years ago....

[DOUG]

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3:31AM?  You up before Kevin?

[tjsahara00]

For the record I got up @ 1:08 am and got to work @ 2:16 am